Friends and Foes

A man's best friend Part 1


“That ther is a gen-u-wine Harbon Hound.” The old man wheezed. “Grow as big as a dire wolf they do.”
I eyed the puppy suspiciously, holding him up to head level. The dog was little smaller then a loaf of bread. It whined softly and tried to squirm free from my grasp.
“A Harbon?” I asked skeptically. I had heard stories of Harbon Hounds, used mainly by the military in the east mountains. Very rare breed known for its loyalty, size, and strength in battle. It’s said that once connected with a master it will defend him to the death. This small dog in my hands is not what I expected.
“I don’t know… doesn’t seem special to me.” I sat the dog back on the cart and looked over the rest of the pups all pawing to get out. Jumping over one another in an attempt to be chosen.
“What ya mean ya don’t know. You ever seen a Harbon before? Tis but a pup. He’ll be showin Harbon size in mere months. Look at his paws, strong, powerful, he’s already bigger then the others and he’s only 2 months.” The Harbon was sitting in alert, his ears perked up folding over themselves. A “cute” trait that would change once he grew into them.
“His ears and paws are rather large for a pup.” I thought aloud, I could see the old man smirk. “Still, something about his coloring, isn’t right. I’ve never heard of a Harbon being spotted like that.” The puppy was a light gray with dark spotting throughout his coat. Although unique, if it were a Harbon then it may not be a pure bred. Not worth the coin in such a case.
“ha ha, boy you talk like you know pups better then this old man in front of you. I’ve been selling to your village for years. The Parton’s dog? Bought from me. Grud’s? From me. I make a livin sellin pups that are strong and protective. I knows a runt when I see one and I knows a strong one when I see em.” He smiled showing missing teeth. He hobbled with his cane over to my side grabbing my arm. “Your gonna be a strong man some day. I can see it. You can’t be no more then 12 years and you already look a man. You gonna need a dog that fits you. A Harbon boy, you need a Harbon.” He smiled and reached into cart. The pups swarmed his arm in a furry or wagging tails and licking tounges. Only the Harbon stood in alert. He picked him up and held him towards me. “I can see it boy”
I looked at the man, his toothless grin, then to the swarm of pups in the cart, jumping and yipping. then to the Harbon. He squirmed slightly in the old mans weak hands. It gave a small growl which sounded more like a squeak and tried to nip him.
“Look at that fight boy, takem.” He handed the dog to me and I held him again at arms length. I looked the dog once over not quite sure.
“Well…. how much?” I asked
“10 gold”
“10?!” There’s no way I could get away with buying the pup at that price. My mom would kill me for sure. I only made 3 gold all last season. I was about to put the dog down, put him in the cart and walk away when I caught the pups glance. He looked at me and I could see an intelligence I had never seen before in an animal. It whined slightly and let out a small bark. Call me crazy but I felt like it said, just pay the man already and take me home, I’m hungry.
“boy…. boy? Snap out of it, you gonna pay me or not?” The old man coughed.
I set the pup down on the ground and reached for my purse. My hand slipped in and felt the cold coinage. Turning them over in my fingers I thought of the hell my mother would bring if I bought this animal.
HEY! He’s gettin away!” The man yelled. I snapped out of my thoughts and saw the pup bounding down the road. “Stop ya damn mutt!” The man wheezed hobbling after the dog. It ignored him and continued on. I brought in a deep breath and whistled, halting the dog in it’s tracks. It turned and looked at me with expectancy. He gave a slight yelp in defiance and sat down. The old man had stopped hobbling and was standing half way trying to catch his breath. I walked towards the dog, handing the man his coin while passing by.
“This dog is special” I thought to myself kneeling down in front of it. It stood and sniffed my hand.
The old man satisfied with his transaction was already hobbling to his cart. Singing an excited tune. He stopped before climbing into the cart’s driver seat. He turned and smiled that toothless grin
“Name him boy, Take care of him and he will take care of you. You will never have another dog like it.”
I let it finish smelling my hands and patted his head.
“He’s not a dog, he’s a hound.” I said quietly, the hound responded wagging his tail. “and his name is Bones.”

The Flashback

Have you ever been in battle before? Seen the slaughter ensue, heard the screams of the dying, the clash of steel, or felt the cold steel of a sword pierce the flesh? Have you known the truth that there was nothing you could do to save these people whether friend or foe.

The room was dark, still, and cold. 6 golden chests lay before the party. They had just left the never ending labyrinth of 15 foot hallways and doors. No doors, no windows, and no exits lay in front of them. “The answer must be in the chests” was the universal thought felt between the party along with “oooo shiny! I wonder what is inside?”

Camile was the first to approach one of the chests, followed closely by Eric, Corbin, and Fangeye. The rest of the party was weary of the chests and decided to stay a few feet behind the rest. All of a sudden, arms sprang from the chests and started to beat on the few that were standing by the chests.

At this point, Daemon had a flashback of his days in the Military and being in battle against many enemies that had it out for him and his friends. He could remember the yells for help from his comrades. The pain in their voices, the fear of the inevitable, and the realization of what was coming all jumbled into the mind of Daemon. These feelings festered and over took him. He was frozen, like a child back in his father’s hall when he had stolen an extra piece of pie and he was caught.

He did not know what to say or do. The fear had consumed him. The only thing that he really felt was the warm glow of light inside him where his love for life resided. He knew Pelor was with him and would help him if he could overcome this fear, however this was one beast that Daemon had to defeat by himself and was glad that the loving and merciful god had not helped him.

Daemon focused on that glow of light inside him and let it consume his mind and heart. He then used that warmth to overcome his demons that were plaguing his body.

Something had snapped him out of this fearful slumber that had engulfed him. It was not Pelor and it was not the surrounding chaos that was enfolding around him. It was the understanding of life and the love that he had to preserve it.

Daemon shook off the memory of battle and set to work quickly, like he was trained. Triage healing was the best way for this type of work. Stabilize and move on…

No one will die this hour!

drink till you forget

The door to the small room swung open haphazardly. Two figures filled the doorway, the smaller of the 2 struggled to hold the other one up. With a feminine grunt she leaned the taller against the doorway.
“You ok? Hold onto the side.” She said with a hint of laughter in her voice. She turned and disappeared into the room.
The moonlight provided very little help with the darkness. Just enough to traverse the room to the night stand. The figure leaning against the door started to slide.
“Wher… where you go?” He slumped to the floor. He got a giggle in response.
“Over here.” A match burst into life in the darkness. Camile’s smiling face emerged. She guided the match slowly to the candle on the night stand. Holding it steady the candle’s wick ignited and light slowly started to fill the room. Satisfied, Camile shook the match out setting the charred remains of it next to the candle.
“You shure can hold ur ale.” Cyrus tried to pick himself up off the ground. Camile laughed to herself and went over to help. The room swayed slightly for her. A side effect of the wine she had consumed to wash away the days events. She guided Cyrus to his feet and they slowly made their way to the bed. Cyrus crashed onto the bed. The bed groaned in annoyance. He slowly kicked his boots off face first in the mattress. Camile dodging his flailing feet, picked them up and set them at the foot of the bed. She walked like she was on a ship, bracing herself against the bed post.
“I’m going to take off your sword belt ok?” She warned making her way back to Cyrus, “Don’t get any ideas,” She said with a smile.
“hmph rumph bumph” Cyrus responded muffled by the mattress.
Camile laughed, “What was that?” She fumbled at the buckle on his side and undid his belt. She pulled on the hilt and the belt slid from underneath Cyrus’s body without too much issue. He rolled onto his side.
“I wud nots dizrespect you so.” His eyes were shut. It helped him keep the world from spinning.
“You’re speaking in dwarven again Cyrus, and I can hardly understand you when your sober when you speak in that tongue. Here get the rest of you in bed.” She helped push him into bed. He rolled/crawled into a proper sleeping position, and opened his eyes in a squint. The room still spun but he focused on her face. The rest of the room was a kaleidoscope of activity but her face was centered.
“Make suhre the chameber pot s neeear the bed.” He managed to say between quiet belches.
Camile smiled and retrieved the pot, it was clean and free of use. She set it close to the bed and helped Cyrus with the covers.
“Thank you fr shwin me how 2 drnk.” Cyrus smiled.
“Me show you? I’m a lightweight, I would not of been able to out drink ”/campaigns/friends-and-foes/characters/daemon-stonehearth" class=“wiki-content-link”>Daemon like you did." She smiled bringing the blankets up to his chest.
“Daemon? Ha!” he laughed, “Hez a dwarf, but whn it comez to drnkin I got him beat.” he smiled proud of himself.
“Well either way thanks for inviting me…. and thank you” She paused, the events of the day rushed back into her previously blissful mind. “Thank you for today, I’m glad you were there.” She looked out the window trying to push it back into the depths of her mind. She felt a hand on her wrist and looked down to meet Cyrus’s eyes. She could sense a moment of clarity, a hint of pain.
“I wanted to find that little boys dog. I wanted to so….(he dry heaved) so bad.” She could see sobriety in his eyes and hear it in his voice. A moment of clarity and she could see him fill with pain.
“It wasn’t your fault,” She brushed the hair from his forehead, “It wasn’t” she repeated, to herself more this time. She could feel the tears trying to push their way out as she remember Jasper lying in her arms, she held them back for later.
“I had a hound once.” He spoke softly as if afraid to wake the tenants in the neighboring rooms. Camile could see the alcohol’s poison returning to effect.
“You had a dog? What was his name?” she tried to smile,
“No… a hound…. a har… harbon…” Sleep started to creep over Cyrus as he tried to finish his story. He slipped closer to a drunken sweet sleep. His eye closed and his breathing softened to a steady rhythm. He slept. Camile sat at the edge of the bed for a while thinking of the day. She felt a tear run down her cheek and was about to wipe it when she noticed something. Cyrus was passed out but he held her hand in his. She wiped her cheek with her free hand and then covered both their hands. She patted it gently and slid from his grasp. She blew out the candle and crossed the room. It was no longer swaying, the alcohol’s bite could not fend off Jasper’s sting. She walked out the door and slowly closed the door.
“Bones….” she thought she heard him say between breaths. She waited with the door slightly cracked. She heard him rustling and the sound of the chamber pot being picked up. She closed the door and left him to his night, and the horrible morning that was sure to follow. She collected her self and walked back to her room.

Daemon's prayer #2

Lord Pelor,

Hello, it is Daemon Stonehearth that Dwarven cleric that bugs you all the time. I just wanted to let you know that there will be a soul coming to you soon. He is Jasper Kendt a very odd rogue if i might say so myself. You see, he “claims” that he is out for himself however, he just got the crap beat out of him by a genie and, believe it or not, he was almost dead already! Why he decided that backstabbing someone while you have little to no HP is beyond me. I mean come on, if I were to get shanked in the back by someone I would be pissed right?

Now here comes my predicament. He has a twin sister! I know what you are thinking, his sister must be just as bad looking as he is, but it is not true she is gorgeous even from my Dwarven eyes. I have a friend who is in love with this twin sister of Jasper’s. I come on behalf of him, the twin sister is having trouble deciding to continue with us or part ways. If Jasper were to possibly find his way back to the living then they might continue on with us. And my friend would get more time with this twin sister, if you know what I mean (wink wink, nudge nudge, grin grin). So if you can find it in your heart to restore this quarky rogue to life that would be a godsend, haha get it? god send cuz you are a god… ha ha. sorry.

Oh lord Pelor, may your light and brilliance shine upon the people of this realm and bring the good out of people. I will spread your word and act as you would hope all of your loyal clerics and priests should. I pray!

Thank you!

Your Neighborhood cleric,

Daemon Stonehearth

P.S. One more thing, Jasper can sometimes run his mouth if you catch my drift. Dont pay him any heed… if he were to come back with no vocal cords we would be grateful. Ha Ha get it? cuz he runs his mouth literally so if he were to come back with no vocal cords his mouth would be useless… think about it… sorry that was kind of a bad one… and kinda cruel… eww dont do that we would never hear the end of it… oh wait we wouldnt hear him at all… ha ha ha. How was that one?


“Cats … Why’d it have to be cats?”
“Calm down Houdini its just a bunch of house cats. I’m not even gonna have to waste a sp-AAAAHHHHHHHH!”
Eric can be so arrogant sometimes, I took a small bit of pleasure as he bragged about taking out cats and suddenly had his bootlaces clawed at by a small tabby cat. This was how the conversation between Eric, my necromancing partner in crime and myself Houdini, Eric’s ever present Draconic speaking Raven. We’d wandered for a long while after the “Accident” and subsequent “Schooling” from that Street Smart Elf who took advantage of my Knowledge seeking companion. We’d been in our share of battles with animals of all shapes and sizes but these filthy cats were by far one of the strangest encounters we’ve ever faced. Luckily we had recently joined up with this rag tag group of misfits half of whom (the military men) were always seeking to help anyone (and I do mean anyone, I never thought I’d see myself as a Dog Catcher) and the other half (the siblings) seemed completely out for themselves. As for Eric and myself, well we just happy to be with an adventuring group so willing to go out and see new places and seek new knowledge, at least we were seeking knowledge.
After the house cats and the subsequent wolverines at the contaminated spring we quickly headed back to town where we headed to a local shop with the lovely Camille and her brother to see about this lantern that they had found … inside an ant … I wish I was making this up. As insane as that sounds what happened next completely blew that out of the water. The man in the shop after gettings his lantern back decided it would be a great idea to open it, and although a great man was lost in this heated battle with a genie … hilarity ensued.

stupid mutt....

Camile sat in her room at the barracks trying to comprehend the events that had taken place earlier in the day. She still didn’t understand what had all taken place. It all happened so fast. One minute they were searching for some brat’s lost dog, the next minute her brother was killed by a crazed genie, then they found the mutt’s smoldering remains in the Red Robes hall and Cyrus went crazy and tried to kill one of them (although that part was entertaining to watch, now that she looked back on it). What the hell was all that about? It all seemed a little too ridiculous to be reality. Everything would have been fine had they not gone looking for that stupid dog, but of course the group of do-gooders she and her brother were traveling with couldn’t seem to leave anything alone. Thanks to their escapades the group had already lost the paladin, the rich guy and now Jasper.

For a brief second she began to tear up, but quickly regained her composure. Even though there was nobody around to see her cry, she refused to let her emotions get the best of her. She couldn’t have anyone see her in such a weakened state. She was a lady after all, and such was not the way of a true lady. Not to mention a woman’s tears were often seen as an invitation for most men. That is the last thing she wanted, although Cyrus was turning out to be more charming than she originally thought him to be. Yet, the only man she ever felt she needed lay lifeless in the church of Pelor. Boy would Jasper get a kick out of that when he got resurrected. Well, if he were to get resurrected. He still had to win Pelor’s favor before he could come back. Hopefully he wouldn’t run his mouth and piss off the deity. Who knows what might happen to him then.

She sat up on the poor excuse for a bed Sergeant Kip had bestowed upon her. He claimed it was the best bed in the whole barracks, save for his own, which he immediately offered to her promising to carry to her quarters himself if she so wished. There were certain perks to being a lady, especially if you knew how to play your cards right. Kip was a good boy, exactly the type she preferred to handle. But even his ridiculous attempts at pleasing her were less than satisfying with the pressing thought of her brother’s passing. At least she got her own room, even if the décor was a bit too… rustic for her taste. Surprisingly she was just grateful she had a place to sleep where she wouldn’t be bothered for the rest of the evening. CRASH

Just then she heard a loud crash in the hall, followed by someone pounding on her door. She had just gotten up to answer it, when the door burst open. Cyrus stood in the doorway cradling a jug of what Camile presumed to be some sort of alcohol. In a poor attempt to hide both his drunkenness and his obvious attraction to her, he swaggered over to her and held out his hand. He had planned to sweep her off her feet and comfort her in her time of need, and he always found the best remedy for any situation was alcohol. Yet Cyrus knew that this one was different than most of the ladies he was used to encountering and it would require a little more class to impress her. So, speaking in his best Elven he spoke to her. It had been a while, and he wasn’t the best at speaking foreign languages when he was inebriated, but he was feeling rather confident he would be able to pull it off. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol or his awesomeness fueling his confidence, but either way he was gonna take the shot.

“Come nao Camile,” he slurred, “the …hic… night iz a baby annn we drinkinggg it… away.”

“I thought I told you the other night in the spa, your Dwarven is terrible,” She stated, slightly amused at his efforts. She thought it strange how despite his drunken state she found him somewhat … she couldn’t quite find the word for it.

“What do you mean? That was Elven,” He protested in common. He was sure he had spoke Elven. She was completely mad… and completely hot, he thought.

“Dear Cyrus,” she said placing her delicate hand on his cheek, “Do you even know Elven?”
Cyrus paused for a second and thought. After a few moments he gave her a blank stare and said confused, “I don’t know! I thought I did, I was sure I did… damnit!”

Before he could analyze situation he had gotten himself into, and without thinking Camile spoke, “Yes, I would love to have a drink with you.”
Crit on "Spa"-ta Check Part 1
This adventuring thing isn't so bad.

I rubbed the scar on my chin trying to process the news. Barker the Barbarian Half-Orc stood out of breath in the middle of the room. Ha had stumbled upon some interesting information while looking for the thieves guild and hurried across town to tell me and the rest of the party.
“So let me get this straight, there’s a peasant activist running around the city threatening to destroy popular noble locations regardless of the casualties?” I managed to put together over his initial rambling.
“Big Boom! They no like Nobles bein bossy.” The Half-Orc grinned proud of himself.
A dribble of spit hung from his chin, a result or the many explosion sounds Barker had imitated during his story.
“They must be stopped! Innocent lives are at risk! Quickly let us leave now!” Lance jumped out of his chair, hand on the hilt of his sword. Like every Paladin he had no trouble filling the stereotype. Where there are innocents in danger you will find a Paladin running head first into said danger.
“Easy Lance, we need to approach this quietly.” Camile said in her calm soft voice. “we don’t want to lose the element of surprise”
“My sister is right, we need to find out potential targets. Anywhere nobles like to hang out.” Jasper butted in. “marketplaces, inns, theaters, taverns..”
“Tavern it is” I interrupted with a grin.

“This place has a spa?!” I exclaimed.

Camile and I were standing at a desk in the corner of the tavern. A pale well kept man stood behind it, his nose slightly up turned while we were in his presence. Behind him a curtain blocked what I presumed to be the entrance to the spa.
“How many are using it right now? Is it popular or what?” I fired out questions. I’m not one to dance around them, sure I sounded like the bomber but to catch the bomber you have to think like a bomber.
“The spa is priced for it’s privacy among other pleasures, it is not our policy to delve information on our clientele. That being said unless you are interested in our services you may move back to your table so other customers may access my assistance.” He sneered. I got ready to reach across the desk and beat the information out of him when I felt a delicate hand on my arm. Camile glanced at me and then asked the man the price.
“Fifty for one or Seventy-Five for the couple’s package”
“Fifty?” I coughed, I eyed Camile, who as usual showed only a look of mild interest.

She leaned over the table placing her hands on the desk. Bringing her elbows together in a way that made her…. “stand out”
“Is there any way we can get a tour, we just want to see the facility.” She cooed. The man showed no reaction aside annoyance. Judging by his hair and clothing he may not be one that Camile’s inventory has effect on.
“Certainty not, again we pride ourselves on privacy and…”
“yea yea yea, exclusive whatever. Alright let me talk it over with my um… wife here.” I pulled Camile to the side to speak private. Using Dwarven tongue to keep pretty boy from listening in.

“Whats ya think” I said to her in butchered Dwarven slang
“Wife?” she responded in the tongue as if insulted.
I rolled my eyes, “Whats ya think?”
“I think you sound drunk and your dwarven accent is horrible” Even for a guttural language she still managed to add that extra coo to her voice that could melt a man.
“No, I meanz what ifin this place be da stonez shits.”
“Excuse me? Watch your tongue”
“It meanz place 2 b” I responded annoyed
“Well if we have too then we can go in, although I will not continue this conversation and let you slaughter the Dwarven language with your horrible slang.” She turned to walk back to the desk.
“That be how I learned it on da Streetz”
“Enough,” she said in common looking back over her shoulder. I felt insulted, my mother would be proud that I even knew what I knew in Dwarven. The Military is not the proper class room for learning a language but what I learned gets me by. I followed her to the desk.
The attendant looked at us with weakly hidden contempt. “Done grunting with each other? Make up your minds?”

I could see for a split second a flair of annoyance cross Camile’s face and just as quickly her smile came through and she was working her charm.
“We have decided to join the spa for the day we will have the…” She paused and glanced at me, “couples package” I nodded with a grin and got an eye roll in response from her.
“Excellent! That will be 75 gold for the package I would like to be the first to thank you and welcome you to our spa.” He said with a grace we had not seen before. He bowed slightly and then looked at me expectantly.
“The hell you lookin…” I was interrupted by a cough from Camile. She tapped her finger on the desk and made a circle motion.
“Oh,” I reached for my coin purse, “wait a sec…” I paused looking back at Camile. She batted her eye lashes and smiled. The attendant raised an eyebrow and his smile subsided slightly. “shitz…” I sighed in Dwarven and took 75 gold from my purse stacking it neatly in front of him on the desk.

We were led past the curtain and into a room with multiple draped areas. There were four small sections on each side of the room just big enough to be changing rooms. The far wall had larger curtain leading even further into the spa.
“Just how far back does this place go?” I wondered to myself aloud.
The attendant made a clapping sound, the large curtains in the back of the room parted and 2 lovely female half-elves entered the room gracefully.
“These ladies will help you to your dressing areas as well as help you stow your goods.”
With a smile and a curtsy they approached us, guiding us each into our own small curtained area. I gave a questioning glance at Camile and she just responded with one that said “go with it”
The half-elf assigned to me went to the closest dressing room and pulled back the curtain revealing a small bench, weapon stand, armor stand as well as some neatly stacked towels. She said nothing but simply smiled and gestured me in. I walked in and set my guisarm on the weapon stand still unsure of my surroundings. I could hear a lute softly being played somewhere and the smell of lavender hung in the air.
“Do you require help with your armor ser?” Startled I turned to the feint mouse like voice of the girl.
“Uhhhhh sure.” I responded dumbly. She scurried over my armor un-strapping and un-clamping like a true pro, removing my breast plate in under a minute.
“Wow, not bad. Where’d you learn your way around armor like that?” I asked, she responded with a mischievous grin and with a slip of the hand my sword belt fell to the floor. I felt my face heating up just as a commotion started outside the dressing room.
“Whoa! Nope! Out!” I could hear Camile’s voice. It was her tone of voice she used with me when I do something wrong. I poked my head through the curtains to make sure she was ok. The dressing room curtains across the way parted as the other half elf hurried out unsure of what she did wrong. Camile followed wrapped in a robe with a look of shock. The robe was slightly too big for her, slipping down one shoulder. Her auburn hair was down and covered the exposed skin almost playfully. The attendant hurried in from the front room.
“Sorry madam what seems to be the issue?”

“The issue is I don’t take kindly to people nibbling my neck without my permission.” Camile snapped. The attendant looked alarmed at her comment.
“My apologies madam I will address the situation.” He beckoned the half-elf girl over to him and started speaking to her in elven in a hushed but angered voice. I didn’t understand a damn thing but I could tell Camile was listening in. He shooed the girl away and turning to Camile put on that big fake smile of his.
“I apologize again madam, Allow me to pay for any of your drinks while staying here. I regret to have troubled you the inconvenience. I will speak with her in private about her transgressions”
Camile collected herself, “No it is fine. It is not her fault, she did not know it was a couple’s package.” The attendant returned to his look of alarm, most likely surprised at her understanding elven.
“uhhh ye-ye-yes, again, drinks on the house, once you are finished getting ready just head to the back curtains.” He said stuttering slightly. Camile nodded
She turned back around towards her dressing room. Her hair swaying to the side revealing the skin the robe was failing to cover. She glanced over her shoulder and saw me poking my head from my dressing room.
“uhhh you umm, uhhh, everything ok?” I said again doing my best half-orc impression.
She turned to face me and gave an amused look as if she knew a joke I didn’t.
“Just a misunderstanding.”
I tried my best to be smooth but couldn’t help it. “Nibbled… your neck?” I said with a stupid grin. Looking at me, her jaw slightly open in a “Are you kidding me…” look. She shook her head in annoyance, noticed her robe was slipping and adjusted it. She walked back into her dressing room and gave me one last glance before closing the curtains. Maybe it was just me but I thought I saw a slight smirk before she closed it.
“Ser? Is everything ok?” I heard the half-elf girls mouse like voice. I pulled my head back into the room and turned. I had completely forgotten she was in the room. “Would you like me ser to help with your trous…. Oh my hee hee hee” She giggled.

“What are you…” I looked down and noticed what she was giggling about. I grabbed a nearby robe and covered myself. “She was nibbling her come on….” I picked up my sword belt off the ground.
“Oh, I could nibble if that is your wish?” She leaned closer to me with a desire in her eyes.
“What? No, wait….. yea no, thanks for the offer, I can finish undressing thank you, ummm please wait outside for me.”
“Whatever suits you,” she walked by clicking her teeth together and I was left alone in the dressing room to think of dead kittens and female ogres.

Jasper's Journal #2

So we have another great quest with which we can waste our time! A dog is missing…yes, a dog. As usual, we have taken it upon ourselves to scour the city and consult every individual who looks in our direction. We’re surely going to garner ourselves reputations. People are going to think we’re paladins…Especially after doing work for the church of St. Cuthbert and not even getting paid for it. Those cheap bastards. There should be a word for those kinds of people…three letters…starts with a j…oh well.
Not only all of that success, but we’ve managed to pick up another three misfits to replace the two we lost! Damn, this is just perfect! Now we’re an army sent out to search for a missing mutt.
The only really good things that came out of today is that orcish rotgut (looking forward to making that fortitude save) and that treasure we found on that island.
We do so much work and we don’t even get credited with it! I’m not letting anyone go off on their own from now on…Someone needs to take the lead in dealing with our contacts. No more of this awkward shouting from 7 other people “have you seen a dog!?” “where’s the gold?” “I helped too!” Maybe Camille…or even Daemon, I suppose.
I want to get paid for my work…

Daemon's prayer #1

Lord Pelor,

It is your faithful servant and devout follower Daemon Stonehearth, again. You must be getting quite irritated listening to me all day… but I have something that I must ask. You see two of my friends and comrades, one of which is a follower of your teachings, have fallen in battle.

Lance was a noble paladin that was head strong and courageous till the end. I hear he got eaten by some pretty bad ass crabs, and no I was not there I was talking with the families of the local sailors that have been missing for 2 weeks. However, I digress. Lance helped save a city from a bomb! I witnessed it myself! Now he was pretty stubborn about things, more then a dwarf if that could even be possible. But his head was in the right place.

The other was Barker. Now this barbarian knew how to party like a rock star. Don’t ask what a rock star is, because I don’t even know. He just said it one time and it sounded cool. Maybe its a star that is on a rock? But that doesn’t seem very cool. Well, this barbarian was one of those guys that did not take shit from anyone. He entered a freaking archery tournament with his throwing axe and won! Can you believe it? His only downside was he smelled like shit… oh wait no, it was Muck. He smelled like Muck! I guess its a perfume they sell here in town. Well, he was eaten by the same crabs that ate Lance.

I ask you, oh lord Pelor, take them into your warm embrace and give them a place to go in the afterlife. They both deserve it! I know the paladin will accept it, however I’m not too sure about the barbarian. I wanted to put in a good word for him, you see.

Thank you Pelor!

Your neighborhood cleric,

Daemon Stonehearth

P.S. You might want to give the barbarian a bath, he still probably stinks to high heavens! get it?? haha high heavens…

Jasper's Journal #1

Fuckin’ awesome day!

Took care of Greeman’s shop, though he almost got himself killed sneaking up on us like that. He shouldn’t be so careless…I took care of that first assassin with a single, well placed thrust of my blades, the rest must’ve been pushovers since the rest of the group took care of them.

Druids are the most useful people in the world, I have to say; though they’re also the most sensitive…and…a little odd. Took care of the curse on my ring. I did have to fight my way through that army of ants…not a great idea…but we have had a barbarian so it all worked out.

Apparently…Kip…yeah…lieutenant now…that’s quality guardsmanship right there.

Damned peasants…sure they’re being “repressed” but who isn’t? Everyone’s got problems, I say just kill them (the problems that is…or the peasants, whatever pays better). Regardless, they’ll have less to cry about now that that bomb’s not being blamed on them, thanks, in no small part, to me.

That spa is amazing…that’s all that needs to be said…though, it could’ve gone better, if you know what i mean! (see below if you don’t)

Oh! Last, but certainly not least (in fact, probably most of all), Lost a paladin and gained a gorgeous redhead! She’s not just ordinarily gorgeous either, I’m talkin…drums play when she walks. I will miss that Barker though…somewhat.


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